you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
