Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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