I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
