Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize