no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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