He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Even my vagina gasped.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The Olympian is in my bed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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