You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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