At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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