We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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