btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
