a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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