Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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