In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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