M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
