I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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