Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize