you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
