Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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