I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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