uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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