i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
