We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
