You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
