i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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