Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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