i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
