You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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