dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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