you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
