That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
