Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
