oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Your cock deserves a montage
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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