so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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