like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
