dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
