Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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