i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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