Don't make out with my wife yet
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
