love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
two words: eviction party
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
