Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
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Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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