I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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