WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
