Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
smell my finger.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
