I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
worst night to have a conscience
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
