hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
