So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
