Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
