I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
