I just threw up on my dentist
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
