No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
