dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
