so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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