Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
