final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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