I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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