i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
