Say something about gay babies.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
