You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
