you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
