who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
