I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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