we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
